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god i wish lesbians in mainstream media werent so sexualized. like… wheres my dorky highschool gfs… wheres my uptight office lesbian and sloppy sweatpants lesbian who shows office lesbian the joys of eating raw cookie dough at 4am… wheres my rich and famous lesbian who falls in love with shy bookish lesbian… wheres my waitress gfs who work at competing restaurants… wheres my mutual pinning neighbor lesbians who barge into each-others’ houses uninvited… like not every sapphic couple is two Sexy Women With A Forbidden Passion… give me my fun and sweet sitcom lesbians
Apparently homophobes are flipping out over the possibility of a lesbian couple appearing in Finding Dory
Lesbians?? In a movie starring Ellen DeGeneres?? WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTD SUCH A THING??
Why is love at first sight okay for straight people but for lesbians it’s “u-hauling”? Why do straight people get to have passionate love stories but for us it’s just “the lesbian urge to merge”? Why are our relationships doomed to be too intense to last? Why do we suffer “lesbian bed death” but straight people’s relationships simply mature? Why do we have to question every single thing we do as a couple because we aren’t allowed to love with the same validity and purity that straight people are given?
I feel like it’s so much easier for lesbians to call ourselves gay or to say “I’m gay” than it is to say “I’m a lesbian” or refer ourselves as lesbians. And I don’t mean that gay can’t be or isn’t a synonym for lesbian and I don’t mean that lesbians should never use the word gay to describe themselves, but I mean more in the sense that lesbians rarely self-identify with the term “lesbian” without difficulty, or use it when coming out to others or even ourselves.
The word “lesbian” is thrown around with so much hate and disgust that the first time most of us ever hear it used is when it’s being used as an insult. We are told that being a lesbian is grown up thing, that’s it’s inappropriate for kids, or something the children would never understand. We can’t even google “lesbian anything” without porn being the first thing that comes up. “Lesbian” becomes a word that is so disconnected from our experiences with ourselves, our feelings, and our relationships, or we otherwise internalize the lie that we are this bad thing that everyone is always talking about. Gay is definitely used similarly in those respects, but it at least allows us to put some distance between our identity and the lesbophobia that is constantly behind it.
Damn. Yes.
